I'm choosing this topic today because I had horrifying nightmares all night, and I'm angry. I'm curious that I can't erase the images and sounds from my brain. That I can't reach in there and scrub my unpleasant memories away.
But what is underneath our anger? What's underneath mine? Well, for me it's usually fear or pain. Fear that these nightmares will never stop. Fear that the grains of truth in them mean that there was even more truth to them than I could even imagine. Pain of relived events made worse by unchecked imagination. As I snap at my roommate, I'm snapping the neck of my abuser in the nightmares. As I yell at my dog for misbehaving, I'm screaming for someone to notice that I am hurting and it is affecting my entire f***ing life.
It's amazing how our moods can shift, how things from the past can affect us so much now.
What makes you angry? What is underneath that shield of anger? You don't have to tell me, but learn to face it for yourself within yourself. Once you do, you'll find that these moments become a little easier to deal with and don't last as long.
Healing and Freedom from the past,
Jenny
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