CONTENT WARNING -- Too Late

As many people in my life know, I am a domestic violence (DV) survivor.  I painted this piece when I was feeling very down, attacked, sad, and hopeless.  Since the initial painting of it, I have worked on it on a few separate occasions.  I can't look at it for too long without being reminded of where I could have ended up if I hadn't left my situation.  Hence the title "Too Late".

I think it's important to acknowledge the "could-have-been" in these situations.  It helps to keep us from entering into similar situations.  Which, by the way, didn't work for me.  I ended up in another DV situation in 2018 -- only two years after picking up my entire life to get away from an abuser.  So this painting is a double-edged sword for me.  It shows the type of thing that used to happen all the time: choked until unconscious, bruises on my arms and legs and face, makeup smeared from being spit on and degraded, blood running in rivulets down my body after he'd taken a knife to my skin and then to my most sensitive parts.  I remember staying as still as I possibly could, terrified he would cut me open as he had threatened to do if I screamed while he raped me with his freshly sharpened knife.

I will leave that experience behind.  Eventually.  As I heal, it is slightly less vivid.  But sometimes healing is unpretty, and that is why I am including this piece here.

Healing and Light,

Jenny